Back to Basics – Week 1

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Have you ever felt that you need a “reset” to get things on the right track? As humans we sometimes need to re-evaluate our actions and be sure as individuals, we are following what God wants for our life. That thought takes me back to a song from a group I listened to growing up, 4Him.

We need to get back To the basics of life
A heart that is pure And a love that is blind
A faith that is fervently grounded in Christ
The hope that endures for all time.

We as individuals are not the only ones that need to get back to basics. Sometimes businesses, churches, and even non-profit organizations need to re-evaluate and be willing to go back to those “simpler” times and make changes. Changes are never easy, but sometimes are a necessary part of growing, or reaching your goal.

Back to Basics – Week 2

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So, what does “back to the basics” have to do with Reach Out Speak Out? As a board, we have decided to go back to our roots of how Reach Out Speak Out was initially envisioned. This means some adjustments in how we do some things. Our mission is “to help women in need of assistance due to domestic violence; to provide shelter, food, clothing, and the necessities of life; to provide information through books and counseling; to enlist the help of other professionals with domestic violence experience; to speak at faith-based organizations and other community meetings regarding the warning signs of domestic violence.”

This is who we are, and always will be. How we accomplish this moving forward is one thing we are prayerfully making some tweaks on. Next week will show what is changing and how you can help.

Back to Basics – Week 3

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Going back to basics related to our mission (see last week’s blog for more on the mission) means enlisting help from YOU, and look for our community and churches to help. We need your BOGO extras to donate to our families. We need your encouraging words written to our clients on holidays, special occasions and in between. We need your creativity in putting baskets together for our auction. We need your time for delivering supplies to our families. We need prayer warrior. We need your organizational skills to plan and organize. We need your talents as mechanics, medical professionals, lawyers, plumbers, etc. who can donate a service to our families in need. We need your donations and time for our fundraisers. WE. NEED. YOU. Period.

We need your time….talent….and treasure.

Back to Basics – Week 4

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Reach Out Speak Out cannot continue to reach new clients we know are out there without your help. We have several committed board members who are passionate about what we do. We need to get back to those basics where we had people helping with time, talents, treasures. We, the board of Reach Out Speak Out cannot do this alone. We want to reach more women and families that need to hear that they are worth the effort and “trouble” of leaving an abusive relationship, knowing there is help available, and no matter what God loves them and wants the best.

To accomplish that, we need more people stepping in for an hour, a day, a few days throughout the year. Donate that “GO” of the BOGO sale, ask your friends and families for donations of gift baskets, gift cards, time, and prayers for families working to find their
“new normal”.

Come support the mission of Reach Out Speak Out and help us help more victims become survivors.

The Many Facets of Love – Week 1

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My wedding was not a shotgun wedding, and I said those wedding vows of my own free will. The words were ringing in my ears: What God has joined together, let no man put asunder. I promise to love her until death do us apart. Love is a very complex emotion sometimes. It can give you so much happiness and so much disappointment. It can make you laugh and make you cry. It can rob you of sound judgment and cause you to end up staying in places no sane person would stay in.

The Many Facets of Love – Week 2

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At home that Sunday evening, she did apologize, but her apology didn’t match the offense. It’s one thing to say I’m sorry for raising my voice at you and asking for forgiveness. However, it’s a whole other ballgame to apologize for a physical assault and expect immediate forgiveness and reconciliation. The abuser always has a way of making you feel bad for not forgiving them quickly, especially when you are a Christian. Their favorite line is, “You’re supposed to forgive me because you’re a Christian.” Their other favorite line is, “You’re not perfect either.” I bought it hook, line, and sinker.

The Many Facets of Love – Week 3

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The joy that I felt on my wedding day had now been replaced with doubt, fear, false guilt, and an uncertain future, but I was still in love. I had no idea that the same love that has your heart skipping a beat can also enslave and trap you. I now know that a love that abuses the object of that love is not pure love. It may be love, but it’s twisted and wounded and should never be tolerated. Love should always set us free and never enslave us.

Recognizing Grief – Week 1

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Living with domestic abuse can numb you so that you don’t realize what all you have lost. Your aspirations and dreams lie buried under many layers of disappointment, broken promises, emotional wreckage and physical pain inflicted by your partner. You are living in grief. Grief for the loss of your happiness, the loss of the wonderful person you fell in love with, for the plans you had for the future. All gone.

Grief can be defined as the natural reaction , a normal reaction to loss. It can be the loss of a job or your health or a death of a loved one. But the loss of a relationship, even if you’re still in the relationship is still a loss to grieve.

Recognizing Grief – Week 2

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The stages of grief are as follows:

  1. Shock / Denial. Disbelief and numb feelings
  2. Pain / Guilt. Unbearable pain of loss and guilt for burdening others
  3. Anger / Bargaining. Insisting to God that he removes the pain or fix
    the situation.
  4. Depression. This may be when you try to isolate, processing the loss
  5. Upward turn. Anger and pain have died down, you are calmer.
  6. Reconstruction. You begin to piece together parts of your life. Move
    forward.
  7. Acceptance / Hope. Acceptance of your new life sinks in with hope
    for the future.

This is the recovery process for loss, the process for healing and moving on.

Recognizing Grief – Week 3

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But what if the process is repeatedly interrupted?

Picture yourself moving through these stages while living with your abuser. They hurt you again but explain why it’s your
fault. You experience stage one, shock, disbelief. The reality of this narcissist, the loss of a perfect partner begins stage two,
pain and guilt.

Next will be stage three, anger, bargaining. Going to God, asking to take the pain away. This can be happening daily or even moment to
moment. Then stage four, depression and isolation. Then, before you know it your abuser strikes again, sending you back to the pain
and guilt of stage two.

You are no closer to healing then you were a month ago, a year ago or longer.

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